When we aim to quit a habit, we inevitably start “counting the days” since we last participated in that habit.
“5 days since I last had a smoke!”
or
“It has been two weeks since I last had a drink”
What inevitably happens is that the person views each and every day as a struggle as they push toward a life without drinking/pornography/drugs/or (insert vice here.) So, instead of being someone that abstains from the vice, they are someone that is “clean” for 4 weeks, 3 days, 12 hours, 46 minutes, and 33 seconds. The whole point of quitting a vice is to quit. Not to count how long it has been since you last did the thing you are trying to quit.
TO QUIT FOREVER
This means never again will you do the thing that you once did.
The only way to do this is a change in identity. For if you are simply someone that is abstaining from drinking, drink still has a stranglehold over your life.
You are no longer a recovering alcoholic - you are a person that doesn’t drink.
The power and gravity of the two statements and definitions of self are completely different. You are no longer chained to the vice that once was so destructive to you. You have completely transcended the vice. You have gone above and beyond the vice, it no longer fits into your life. It no longer serves you, therefore it is no longer holds any power.
The way that I personally broke free from snapchatting girls (for example) was to decide that I no longer stayed up until 3am snapchatting girls. I deleted my account, deleted the app, and no longer use it (I have not for over 4 years). Instead of “counting the days” that I was “clean” from wasting my time and energy, I simply quit. There was no going back, no returning to the vice, and no further detriment to my life. And, in the moment, it actually was a difficult thing to do - deleting my account that had previously led me to experience worldly pleasures for 6+ years.
The issue most men have in quitting pornography is that they go on “streaks” where they count the time that they have been “sober” down to the second. Then, they feel like shit when they inevitably fail after X days/hours/minutes of abstaining. Because they didn’t actually quit. They simply started counting how long it has been since they last watched porn. Pornography still holds power over this person’s life whether they are cognizant of it or not - because life is now about avoiding the vice, and if one slip up occurs (which in our day and age of social media and the internet is very likely to happen) there is “total loss” that pushes him back into the thing he is trying to leave behind.
So, instead of counting the days, decide that you are no longer that person.
The Easy Peasy Method uses this technique. Have one last look at pornography and know that it is the last time that you will ever do so. Then, put down the phone or laptop, and realize that you are now free. Forever. You need never return to your disgusting habit any longer. It is finished.
That was the old you, this is the new you.
You are free a thousand times in your mind before you are in the physical world. So, be free.
Day counts no longer matter. You are no longer that person.
You are now free to make the days count. You are free to build yourself into the person that you actually want to be.