In my early twenties, I thought that stoicism was the “ultimate philosophy”.
To be a rock unmoved in the storm of life? Sign me up!
Admittedly, it was stoic ideology that got me through some tremendously difficult times in my life - losing the ability to use my legs, the loss of identity in being a sportsman, and the sinking feeling I would forever be inadequate.
By taking a “top down view” of my situation, I was allowed to play the character that I needed to be to overcome. I saw that which mattered in life, and I truly look back on my struggles as some of the most necessary of my life, for if I never experienced them, you would not be watching this (or reading the accompanying blog post) today.
We will return to the topic of suffering in a little bit, but know that my opinion on suffering has shifted toward that of necessity in life, inevitable, yet necessary.
Stoic understanding played a large role when I left my early twenties, starting businesses, aiming toward life long partnership, and in learning more about myself. Stoicism in business endeavours can have its benefits; To not be swayed by the ups and inevitable downs of the nature of the game, we can steel ourselves against the uncertainty that throws most out of entrepreneurial pursuits. The “Elonism” of “staring into the abyss and chewing glass” can ring so close to home that if one were not stoic, he would go insane or pack it up and slink back with his tail between his legs.
Yet, despite all this, I would entirely deny being a stoic today.
As I moved into my thirties, became a father, and felt myself called back to Christ, my Stoicism gave way to the Christian understanding of reality. I found so much more to the story than the tempering of emotion, or utilizing a two-millennia-old idea to “get what I want out of life.”
I found there was far more to the story than being “stoic.” It was part of my journey but not the destination.
Modern stoicism #
Study the writings of the fathers of stoic philosophy and you will very quickly find that the modern spin is hardly stoic at all. Ryan Holiday et al have essentially hijacked a philosophy to sell books and coins:
Stoicism has become a way for people to sell a product that promises to help people (read: young men) “get what they want out of life”, make money, and get chicks..? Stoicism has given way to “broicism”.
None of this was ever the understanding of the stoics, whom all would be rolling over in their graves at the commercialization of the philosophy - The very men who stated that the things that mattered in life were virtue and character, not fleeting worldly wealth or status may have sometimes been in the highest echelons of society, but also occupied the slave class.
Stoic thought was not a way to get rich and buff without the ability to smile, it was a way of looking on the happenstance of life, that though so much was out of our control, we could control how we reacted to that which happened. We could focus on the things that are within our control, and then understand that harder days were coming. It is a romantically masculine outlook on life, and that was the reason that it has been co-opted by those in the political sphere and online that value the masculine role model as centerpiece.
In need of a masculine role model? #
The peddling of a “masculinity” that comes with stoic thought is a symptom of a generation of men that do not know what masculinity is. And, why should we? Everything we have ever been told about masculinity was fragile and partial.
I was not immune - in my early twenties, struggling with the fact my legs no longer worked, I looked for meaning and ways I could still become a man when physically I was limited. I found womanizing and strength training to be very in line with the philosophy. By day I would be in the gym, by night, reading the stoics, by weekend out on the town looking for a woman to comfort me and validate the fact I still “had it.”
Emotionally blunting myself to the outside world, I thought that I could then get what I was looking for - but what I was looking for was the Truth, not some fleeting pleasure or finding a little ’t’ truth.
Stoicism very much played into the worldview I held, and it has shown me that most people today don’t want the Truth, they want to find something that validates the way they see the world around them. Islam is seeing a massive influx because of the desire of men to have a validating view on the world that allows them to act and live a certain way. Andrew Tate’s statement of his conversion, Sneako’s outspoken Islamic support and the recent interest of Dan Bilzerian are high profile influencer proof that markets the religion to millions of people worldwide.
Would I say that Islam is true?
I suppose we will all only find out at the end of our lives.
My bet is not on that horse, however.
The Truth #
So, seeking the Truth instead of that which was transitory, I sought religion, I did psychedelics, I meditated, and after half a decade, I came back to where my life started: at the baptismal font.
With no doubt in my heart, Christianity is the ultimate worldview. In true, deep study of the Church, the Fathers, and Gospel, we come to find answers to all questions.
I found Christianity places the correct balance of internal/external locus of control, and allows one to not become a jaded, desensitized, cold person (of which the “modern stoics” seem to think this is the direction forward in this life).
While I found stoicism to be living life in 720p, Christianity is living life in 4k HDR.
While stoic thought would help us to get what we want in this life, Christ instead promises life everlasting. A continual growth toward becoming actually human. Setting the template of Jesus Christ to aim our lives toward, Christianity doesn’t discount stoic philosophy - rather it builds on it. In fact, in the book of Acts, Paul shares dialogue with Stoic philosophers. The Church Fathers take much from Stoic understanding and use it to further their Love for Christ, The Truth.
Perhaps most important for me, Christianity answered the “why” of my suffering (see, I told you we would come around to that).
In suffering we can find redemption. In suffering, we can be purified - pulled out of the hell that was our previous life and placed in the waiting arms of God. We are not meant to disengage from that suffering, but to truly suffer and to see that in suffering there is so much more. Christ did not “disassociate” from His suffering on the Cross - so too are we meant to pick up our own Crosses to walk with Him.
When we look into the history of Western philosophy, there is reason to believe that the culmination and revelation in the coming of Christ was the epitome of understanding of the human condition. Stoics were speaking of Logos, of reason - Christ was Logos incarnate in front of all humanity.
It is said that “all philosophy leads to theology” at it’s most pure consideration. Theological understanding is thus the revelation of philosophy and the beginning of the eternal ascent toward Truth. The “ultimate rabbit hole” if you will - God is so beyond anything of this world that our climb is one that takes this entire life and sets us on a trajectory into eternity.
It is my belief that Christianity is THE worldview. Those that would argue against the Church have not studied it to any depth, nor likely have even read the Bible. If one comes away from reading the 30 some-odd thousand pages of the Church Fathers and says “that was a good story but I think I’ll be on my way now”, I would be surprised indeed.
I apologize for my abruptness, but those that would argue against Christianity have never studied it with an honest lens or without bias. The explanation that is found in Christianity for the way the world is and the direction this world is going is unparalleled. There are no real answers beyond this. No secular knowledge or writings generally do any justice or lead anywhere after you come to Christ. They all fall flat, so much so that in my own life I have made a point to cease reading modern works and to look hundreds of years in the past for nearly all my readings; nothing of the secular really fulfills the appetite.
The metaphysical, the transcendent is what the soul is seeking, of this I assure you. And while you might not just be there yet, there comes a point where you start to see that most people are talking entirely nonsense if they are not talking about how to get closer to God.
I know how crazy that sounds to someone not there yet, but it is the understanding one comes to when honestly pursuing a spiritual life (not a life that serves you, but one that serves God.)
Nothing matters except God – and since He is everywhere and fillest all things, everything matters. Every single moment is an opportunity to get into communion and get right with Him. The Saints in Heaven are cheering you on. Every moment is an opportunity to see the Truth, then to forever act, align, and struggle toward that Truth.
I previously thought life could be a “meditation” or that I could somehow avoid the suffering which was always seemingly around the corner. If only I could “detach” from it, to see that which I can control as the only thing that mattered, then I would never suffer again.
No.
I now know that embracing that suffering head on is entirely necessary, entirely purposeful. If you are suffering right now: Endure.
For in that suffering I truly believe that we come to find that our lives can be so much more than this.
Our lives can be a prayer.
Until next time.