Would you allow someone to stay in your life that was constantly berating you?
How about someone that talked down to you, always chastising the mistakes you made, while giving no solutions for betterment?
How about someone that tells you that you are not enough?
You wouldn’t.
If you do allow this kind of person in your life, they will poison the well. They will be a point of contention, a point of anxiety and stress. They will eat you alive. I cannot help you if you choose to allow this. Unfortunately, this kind of person is generally a family member, a brother, a sister, a parent. You hurt for those that you love the most because you feel as if you are meant to be around them.
Here’s the thing though - most of you allow YOURSELF to talk to you that way.
In your mind, you are constantly negative toward yourself.
You look at your failures as insurmountable, you consider yourself not good enough. You look at yourself as a person that is missing pieces instead of a person that is whole. Your view of yourself inevitably seeps into all of your human interactions - you see the negatives in the world around you and can seemingly only see the bad. Inevitably, you treat others with the same disgrace you treat yourself with.
The way that you talk to yourself is paramount to your life quality.
You are with yourself more than any other person, you are 24/7 in your own mind, watching yourself, criticizing yourself, being the worst kind of friend to yourself.
The saddest part about this is that the more you fall into the trap, the more others do not want to be around you. The more that you criticize yourself, the more that you look around the world with an upturned nose at others. The more that you see negatives in yourself, the more you see all the negative in the world and in people. Soon, you find yourself without friendship because YOU BECOME THAT KIND OF WORST FRIEND TO EVERYONE AROUND YOU.
The truth is that much of this starts within.
You don’t get to be a good friend unless you are good to yourself.
You first must put on your own oxygen mask before you reach out to others. Otherwise, you will project your own insecurities, your own shortcomings, and your own missteps to the world.
You know the type of person - the ones that cannot keep their room tidy are the first ones that try to change the world. The ones that can’t even take care of themselves act as if they are taking care of everyone around them.
They will fail miserably because it all starts within.
It all starts at home.
It al begins with stating in your own mind that you are good enough. That you are worthy of happiness, just as every single person is. Start encouraging yourself, congratulating yourself, and seeing yourself as the person that you can be. There is an Ultimate Version of Yourself out there that you only need align with in your actions and mindset.
Look at every failure as a learning experience. You cannot create a better life if you only have successes - there MUST BE FAILURES to succeed. No person that has ever changed the world was successful in every endeavour they undertook. There is no such thing as a loss - it is a learning experience.
Look at how you speak to yourself, it will be how you speak to everyone else.
Because when it comes down to it, there is nobody else. It is all just you. It is just all me.
As within, so without.
So, start within.